Yes, I’m single so yes this piece is incredibly biased but also incredibly beneficial. At one point in our lives, we will all find ourselves at this juncture. Some of us will resent the status or embrace it with open arms but generally singlehood, like Trump, has a bad reputation.
We’re badgered with negative generalisations about singlehood all the time. From the Hollywood protagonist who can’t seem to get her life together because she’s fixated on finding her man to the, “Why are you single?” style interrogation at family functions. Even the single seminars at your church, intended to impart wisdom, now act as a constant reminder that you are single at 30 and your pool of Christian brothers has slowly contracted since the last single seminar you attended. So you talk to God about your woes and how much you desire a man after His heart and good looking enough to find him attractive.
You know what the Bible says about being anxious for nothing and yet you fret every night about your ovaries drying up and wanting to get married by a certain age. Whilst being in a relationship has its obvious benefits, there’s no guarantee that your relationship will fast forward your journey to the aisle, there’s no guarantee that you will marry that particular man and there’s no guarantee of children whilst married. Singlehood has to stop being a point of contention.
Firstly, there is a certain liberty attached to singlehood that’s not generally attached to couplehood. In a healthy intimate relationship, you put the other person’s feelings, before your own and consider the weight of your actions more tentatively.
Secondly, you can mingle with the hope that it leads elsewhere and that’s not a luxury offered to couples. Meeting new people or starting new friendships with the opposite sex is generally quite tricky when you are in a relationship, going back to the idea that you have to consider the other party.
Lastly, Jesus was single. I used to grimace whenever this was added to a discussion on singlehood. After all, Jesus was divine and so bringing Him into the mix did nothing for their arguments. However, Jesus came that we might have an example and showed us how to live our lives to the full even whilst single.
What I’m ultimately saying is don’t fall into the trap that singlehood is your source of grief. Don’t feel embarrassed when you’re asked the scripted, “Why are you single?” question (although I’m yet to hear anyone give a response that wasn’t awkward, after all, it is an awkward question). Bask in your singleness. As in every area of life, it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself and learn about others. How are you supposed to learn if you’re in a constant state of “Woe is me”? Take comfort in knowing the joy of the Lord is your strength, it’s not a cliche, it’s the truth.
You might not have a man now but at least you have heels.